Carson Meyer Instagram – Part 3 of 4: Our Birth Story A couple hours later I got into the shower. Intensity was building but I was still coping ok. I have very little recollection of what happened in this phase. Much like a fever dream, I would flow in and out consciousness or as @lbreggy says, “I left my body to get my baby”. There was no talk of time, no timing of contractions, NO cervical exam. Just patience. Just trust. Our midwife and Johnathan steadily and quietly witnessing my process unfolding just as it needed to. Around noon, I insisted on getting into the tub, and from there things really shifted. I no longer felt contractions, instead I felt the expanding of my hips and tension shooting through the front of my legs. I could feel Lou’s head pushing against my tailbone. I wanted someone to just break my tailbone off to put a stop to it. I howled with each contraction. There was no hypnobirth, no orgasmic birth – just roaring and profanities contrasted against the Vedic chants playing in the background. The perfect encapsulation of birth if you ask me: a beautiful spiritual journey and a real bitch. Johnathan stayed at my side,steady as a rock. (Even when I bit through his skin 😳). What grounded me the most and got me through was my connection with Lou. After screaming in agony I would talk to her and tell her that it was all ok and how proud I was of her. I knew she was going through it and working hard with me and for that, I was grateful. We were all alone and in it together at the same time. So much doubt came up in me. I forgot everything I knew and believed about birth. Although I could feel with my fingers that Lou was close, I was convinced it just wouldn’t work. I was at my edge. In retrospect I was pushing but I had no idea. My body had taken over.