Esther Perel Instagram – Twinkling lights on trees, menorahs and kinaras in windows, classic films on every channel, carols ringing out in the streets—these holiday symbols can inspire the best feelings in the world, but they can also feel oppressive when the holiday cheer is not our reality. There is perhaps no other time of year in which the pleasure and pain of our memories are front and center—in which we experience such ambivalence about our own sense of joy. We’re reminded that complex emotions can exist simultaneously. Gifts fill beneath the tree and light shines from the windows of our homes, but many of our hearts feel empty, our worlds dark. As we celebrate the holidays, we also remember all that we’ve lost. We remember those around the world that suffer, and are struck by the contrast between the season and the reality of our world today. As we try to find balance between joy and pain this holiday season, know that there are others who understand and empathize—you are not alone. And in acknowledging the complexity in ourselves we are able to have compassion for one another.