Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
Fantasy is our very human ability to come back to something and forever change or relive it. Fantasy has the power to connect us to hope, playfulness, and mystery and often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes — surrender, abandon, being taken care of, being in charge, being safely aggressive — all in the language of sex.
Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. We all have these imaginative resources that allow us to play and be curious, to go beyond our lived experience. The wonder of fantasy is that it allows us to bypass reality; we can let go of the constraints of age, physical limits, material realities, health conditions and religious restrictions.
I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @thecut through the link in my bio.
In the past, when a relationship ended, that was it. Most of the time you had no way of finding the person anymore. You had moved. They had moved. Yet, in the present day, we possess the capability to sustain connections, whether by choice or circumstance. I’m frequently asked the question, “When two people break up should there be an expectation of friendship?” Additionally, “Is this even possible?”
This question has to be put in context, considering factors such as life stage, age, and the nuances of the breakup. And it’s important to allow for some time, a transitional period between the end of the relationship and the start of a friendship.
Can people stay friends with people they once had a romantic relationship with? Absolutely. Can people do so in a way that is not threatening to their current relationship? Of course that too. The question is a question of trust, of mutual respect, of openness, and of clear boundaries.
(Video credit: @thecut)
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
Why is it often easier for us to fight than to listen?
Polarity in relationships can become quite an intense dynamic — especially on the big issues and decisions. As we each dig our heels in further, we actually reinforce the opposing viewpoint of our counterpart rather than create opportunity for alignment.
One way to diffuse is to begin to consider and even argue the other side, allow yourself to feel and truly consider the opposing viewpoints. Allow them to do the same. There are opportunities to shift the energetics by talking instead of fighting, by diffusing, listening, and coming to center instead of holding ground.
What would it look like if we took a moment to genuinely listen to a perspective other than our own? Explore my @masterclass through the link in my bio to master this concept and many more. Right now, you get two memberships for the price of one, making this a perfect holiday gift.
The art of conversation is about healthy amounts of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening, asking questions and navigating commonalities and differences. While some find it daunting, for others, it’s second nature.
Swipe through for a few questions to try out this holiday season with loved ones or kind strangers. For the complete list, visit my recent newsletter, linked in my bio.
The art of conversation is about healthy amounts of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening, asking questions and navigating commonalities and differences. While some find it daunting, for others, it’s second nature.
Swipe through for a few questions to try out this holiday season with loved ones or kind strangers. For the complete list, visit my recent newsletter, linked in my bio.
The art of conversation is about healthy amounts of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening, asking questions and navigating commonalities and differences. While some find it daunting, for others, it’s second nature.
Swipe through for a few questions to try out this holiday season with loved ones or kind strangers. For the complete list, visit my recent newsletter, linked in my bio.
The art of conversation is about healthy amounts of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening, asking questions and navigating commonalities and differences. While some find it daunting, for others, it’s second nature.
Swipe through for a few questions to try out this holiday season with loved ones or kind strangers. For the complete list, visit my recent newsletter, linked in my bio.
Couples polarize around all kinds of values. Should we spend the holidays with your parents or mine? If we share finances, do we need to ask permission for personal spending? I’m used to hearing these stories in my office. But the clashes around social values within couples, families, colleagues, and friends have taken on a fresh pitch.
Long-standing patterns in our relationships come to a head in these arguments. If you listen closely to a screaming couple, you will hear feelings around respect, recognition, control, trust, care, and power. Too often, clashing couples focus only on the surface. That can leave us feeling that, not only are we living in a world that’s gone mad, we’re living with a person we no longer recognize.
Modern romance doesn’t pay much attention to “values clarification” until there is “values crisis.” But it doesn’t mean we have to stay in crisis mode. My advice to couples at a crossroads over issues rooted in values is this: step away from the content of the argument for a moment and consider the form. Swipe through for eight more pieces of advice, and for a deeper dive into the topic, check out the newsletter link in my bio.
Couples polarize around all kinds of values. Should we spend the holidays with your parents or mine? If we share finances, do we need to ask permission for personal spending? I’m used to hearing these stories in my office. But the clashes around social values within couples, families, colleagues, and friends have taken on a fresh pitch.
Long-standing patterns in our relationships come to a head in these arguments. If you listen closely to a screaming couple, you will hear feelings around respect, recognition, control, trust, care, and power. Too often, clashing couples focus only on the surface. That can leave us feeling that, not only are we living in a world that’s gone mad, we’re living with a person we no longer recognize.
Modern romance doesn’t pay much attention to “values clarification” until there is “values crisis.” But it doesn’t mean we have to stay in crisis mode. My advice to couples at a crossroads over issues rooted in values is this: step away from the content of the argument for a moment and consider the form. Swipe through for eight more pieces of advice, and for a deeper dive into the topic, check out the newsletter link in my bio.
Couples polarize around all kinds of values. Should we spend the holidays with your parents or mine? If we share finances, do we need to ask permission for personal spending? I’m used to hearing these stories in my office. But the clashes around social values within couples, families, colleagues, and friends have taken on a fresh pitch.
Long-standing patterns in our relationships come to a head in these arguments. If you listen closely to a screaming couple, you will hear feelings around respect, recognition, control, trust, care, and power. Too often, clashing couples focus only on the surface. That can leave us feeling that, not only are we living in a world that’s gone mad, we’re living with a person we no longer recognize.
Modern romance doesn’t pay much attention to “values clarification” until there is “values crisis.” But it doesn’t mean we have to stay in crisis mode. My advice to couples at a crossroads over issues rooted in values is this: step away from the content of the argument for a moment and consider the form. Swipe through for eight more pieces of advice, and for a deeper dive into the topic, check out the newsletter link in my bio.
Twinkling lights on trees, menorahs and kinaras in windows, classic films on every channel, carols ringing out in the streets—these holiday symbols can inspire the best feelings in the world, but they can also feel oppressive when the holiday cheer is not our reality.
There is perhaps no other time of year in which the pleasure and pain of our memories are front and center—in which we experience such ambivalence about our own sense of joy. We’re reminded that complex emotions can exist simultaneously. Gifts fill beneath the tree and light shines from the windows of our homes, but many of our hearts feel empty, our worlds dark.
As we celebrate the holidays, we also remember all that we’ve lost. We remember those around the world that suffer, and are struck by the contrast between the season and the reality of our world today. As we try to find balance between joy and pain this holiday season, know that there are others who understand and empathize—you are not alone. And in acknowledging the complexity in ourselves we are able to have compassion for one another.
How often does the question “How are you?” really lead to a meaningful conversation? And how do we spark conversations that bring us closer together—instead of driving us apart?
I’ve been reflecting a lot on what makes a good question—one that goes beyond the usual small talk like “What do you do?” One of my go-to questions at gatherings is, “What’s on your unofficial resume?” It opens the door to unique stories, like my experiences busking and hitchhiking in my twenties, introducing me to diverse people across America — which I delve deeper into in this month’s newsletter.
After releasing my card game, “Where Should We Begin: A Game of Stories,” I received letters from people who were using prompts from the game on road trips, creating connections reminiscent of my own youthful travels. One letter, is the one you see above.
If you have a story like this, I’d love for you to share it with me — comment below or message me directly. In the meantime, I wanted to share a few more questions with you in case you’d like to try them out this holiday season with loved ones or kind strangers. You can find those in my latest newsletter, linked in my bio. My hope is that, as you gather, whether you feel excitement or trepidation, you can find new stories to share, new questions to ask, and new places to travel together without ever leaving each other’s side.
If you’re interested in playing the game this holiday season, there’s still time* to place your US orders on Amazon.com. Use the code “12LASTCHANCE” by midnight ET for an exclusive discount.
(*Availability and shipping times vary by location.)
We’re so excited we got to know the trailblazing, renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, Esther Perel. It was so special to learn more about her own childhood and upbringing, and her personal experiences with relationships. She also shared about her new course “Turning Conflict into Connection,” and elevated our understanding with her profound wisdom on love, intimacy and human connection. Streaming now wherever you get your podcasts!
In the upcoming Apple Podcasts subscription episode of “Where Should We Begin?” I sit down with the one and only Ira Glass, the brilliant mind behind over 800 episodes of his genre-defining radio show and podcast “This American Life.”
For three decades, @iraglass has skillfully crafted stories and asked hard questions to an array of captivating guests. But now, Ira turns the spotlight inward. He reflects on his personal life and career, diving deep into his own thoughts and asks the incredible question, “Is this It?”
Ready to step into my office? Join me in my “Office Hours” on Apple Podcasts subscription to catch exclusive episodes like this one and listen to “Where Should We Begin?” ad-free. Tune in on September 28th as we unravel the layers and discover a side of Ira we rarely get to hear.
