Eroticism isn’t sex; it’s sexuality transformed by the human imagination. It’s the thoughts, dreams, anticipation, unruly impulses, and even painful memories which make up our vast erotic landscapes. It’s the elixir of vibrancy, curiosity, and spontaneity that makes us feel alive. The counterforce of deadness, a radiance that reminds us that, despite any darkness we may endure, we are here on this planet right now. And, at all times, we are on the edge of all that is possible, straddling hope and anxiety. Eroticism isn’t just the life force that makes sex great. Eroticism is what makes life itself worth living. Visit the link in my bio for our full conversation.
Life is not a permanent state of enthusiasm. Happiness is an outcome — it’s a moment in which we get to experience joy, bliss, contentment — and that’s a beautiful part of life. But a goal for an everlasting or continuous state of happiness? We’re setting ourselves up for disappointment by discounting the range of the human experience. Listen to my past @service95 conversation with @dualipa as we explore this topic and more through the link in my bio.
People often ask me how I became an “expert” on relationships and sexuality. The truth is, it was entirely unexpected. I grew up in Antwerp, the Flemish part of Belgium and I came to the States for graduate school. I planned to stay for one year but never used my return ticket. I fell in love with New York — and with the man who is still my husband today. Throughout my career, I’ve integrated my passions and interests into my work, in my sessions, inside the very walls of my office. So many of the conversations that used to only happen in the quiet of a therapy office are now taking place on the public square. I felt it was my responsibility to join in on these conversations. I wanted to reach more people than just those on my waiting list and I wanted to do it in an engaging, accessible, and relatable way. This desire led me to create a podcast, a card game, and write books, all with the underlying purpose of fostering connection and exploring the intricacies of modern love and relationships. Through these pursuits, as well as my speaking tours and engagements, I’ve been fortunate to engage with diverse audiences, each interaction opening doors to my office in ways I had never imagined. Thank you for being a part of this journey, for sharing your stories, and for allowing me to share mine.
In the second-to-last episode of The Arc of Love series, I connect with a recently widowed mother of three, who reflects on the deep and and often unspoken aspects of her grief. She reflects on the impact of her late husband’s declining health on their relationship, including the neglected conversations about their sexual intimacy. As we explore the unaddressed emotions and the guilt she carries, I guide her through releasing those burdens and opening herself to new possibilities. Tune in to “All The Things We Never Said” on Where Should We Begin? to hear her journey of healing and hope.
In the second-to-last episode of The Arc of Love series, I connect with a recently widowed mother of three, who reflects on the deep and and often unspoken aspects of her grief. She reflects on the impact of her late husband’s declining health on their relationship, including the neglected conversations about their sexual intimacy. As we explore the unaddressed emotions and the guilt she carries, I guide her through releasing those burdens and opening herself to new possibilities. Tune in to “All The Things We Never Said” on Where Should We Begin? to hear her journey of healing and hope.
Sexuality is the portal to all of the nuances of the human heart, body, and mind. But how essential is it? This week, I’m honored to welcome distinguished sex therapist @iankernerlmft for a special episode of Where Should We Begin? to discuss the role and significance of sex in relationships. As my ideas evolve through rich conversations with thinkers, patients, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, I invite you to be part of these dialogues on my Apple Podcasts subscription. Listen to “How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?” through the link in my bio. And for deeper exploration on this topic, stay tuned for an exciting announcement coming soon.
Sexuality is the portal to all of the nuances of the human heart, body, and mind. But how essential is it? This week, I’m honored to welcome distinguished sex therapist @iankernerlmft for a special episode of Where Should We Begin? to discuss the role and significance of sex in relationships. As my ideas evolve through rich conversations with thinkers, patients, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, I invite you to be part of these dialogues on my Apple Podcasts subscription. Listen to “How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?” through the link in my bio. And for deeper exploration on this topic, stay tuned for an exciting announcement coming soon.
Sexuality is the portal to all of the nuances of the human heart, body, and mind. But how essential is it? This week, I’m honored to welcome distinguished sex therapist @iankernerlmft for a special episode of Where Should We Begin? to discuss the role and significance of sex in relationships. As my ideas evolve through rich conversations with thinkers, patients, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, I invite you to be part of these dialogues on my Apple Podcasts subscription. Listen to “How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?” through the link in my bio. And for deeper exploration on this topic, stay tuned for an exciting announcement coming soon.
Sexuality is the portal to all of the nuances of the human heart, body, and mind. But how essential is it? This week, I’m honored to welcome distinguished sex therapist @iankernerlmft for a special episode of Where Should We Begin? to discuss the role and significance of sex in relationships. As my ideas evolve through rich conversations with thinkers, patients, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, I invite you to be part of these dialogues on my Apple Podcasts subscription. Listen to “How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?” through the link in my bio. And for deeper exploration on this topic, stay tuned for an exciting announcement coming soon.
What happens when love expands beyond the boundaries of monogamy? In the fourth episode of The Arc of Love series, I invite you to an unstructured, spontaneous, and deeply engaging dinner table conversation on polyamory. I sat down with my two discussion partners from a panel on polyamory, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy we participated in 10 years ago, along with a group of friends each of us invited, to explore how the landscape of polyamory has evolved. Over a rich five-hour dialogue, condensed into one podcast episode, we discuss the choices, challenges, and consequences that come with it. Some are searching, some have found, and others are simply curious. Though you weren’t there, I’m inviting you to pull up a chair and listen in. Tune in to “The Poly Dinner Party” on Where Should We Begin?
What happens when love expands beyond the boundaries of monogamy? In the fourth episode of The Arc of Love series, I invite you to an unstructured, spontaneous, and deeply engaging dinner table conversation on polyamory. I sat down with my two discussion partners from a panel on polyamory, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy we participated in 10 years ago, along with a group of friends each of us invited, to explore how the landscape of polyamory has evolved. Over a rich five-hour dialogue, condensed into one podcast episode, we discuss the choices, challenges, and consequences that come with it. Some are searching, some have found, and others are simply curious. Though you weren’t there, I’m inviting you to pull up a chair and listen in. Tune in to “The Poly Dinner Party” on Where Should We Begin?
What happens when love expands beyond the boundaries of monogamy? In the fourth episode of The Arc of Love series, I invite you to an unstructured, spontaneous, and deeply engaging dinner table conversation on polyamory. I sat down with my two discussion partners from a panel on polyamory, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy we participated in 10 years ago, along with a group of friends each of us invited, to explore how the landscape of polyamory has evolved. Over a rich five-hour dialogue, condensed into one podcast episode, we discuss the choices, challenges, and consequences that come with it. Some are searching, some have found, and others are simply curious. Though you weren’t there, I’m inviting you to pull up a chair and listen in. Tune in to “The Poly Dinner Party” on Where Should We Begin?
What happens when love expands beyond the boundaries of monogamy? In the fourth episode of The Arc of Love series, I invite you to an unstructured, spontaneous, and deeply engaging dinner table conversation on polyamory. I sat down with my two discussion partners from a panel on polyamory, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy we participated in 10 years ago, along with a group of friends each of us invited, to explore how the landscape of polyamory has evolved. Over a rich five-hour dialogue, condensed into one podcast episode, we discuss the choices, challenges, and consequences that come with it. Some are searching, some have found, and others are simply curious. Though you weren’t there, I’m inviting you to pull up a chair and listen in. Tune in to “The Poly Dinner Party” on Where Should We Begin?
**This post and podcast episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including suicide. I want to provide a warning in case this content is difficult for you. Please take care while listening.** Earlier this week, I shared “A Romantic Revival” as part of The Arc of Love series. Today, I invite you to revisit their journey, the first time I invited a couple back to reflect on their experience in a full session. This follow-up episode further explores the tragic suicide of his first wife, the transformation of his current wife into a stepmother to four children, and their path of love and resilience. Three years after their initial session, I ask what has changed. Have they been able to revive and sustain their love despite the obstacles? How has the loss of creativity played a role in their journey? Listen to “A Few Years Later – A Romantic Revival” on your Apple Podcast subscription of Where Should We Begin?
In a compelling third episode of the Arc of Love series, it began with a passionate affair, resulting in the dissolution of two marriages. The two lovers then entered new relationships but continued to engage in infidelity with each other. Eventually, they embarked on a relationship together, where they faced challenges of mutual betrayal. As they now strive to rebuild trust, I guide them towards confronting brutal truths about themselves. As our session concluded, it became clear that I needed to make a definitive recommendation (something I rarely do) about the possibility of a future together. Listen to “A Small Town Affair” on Where Should We Begin? and share your thoughts on this episode in the comments below.
In a compelling third episode of the Arc of Love series, it began with a passionate affair, resulting in the dissolution of two marriages. The two lovers then entered new relationships but continued to engage in infidelity with each other. Eventually, they embarked on a relationship together, where they faced challenges of mutual betrayal. As they now strive to rebuild trust, I guide them towards confronting brutal truths about themselves. As our session concluded, it became clear that I needed to make a definitive recommendation (something I rarely do) about the possibility of a future together. Listen to “A Small Town Affair” on Where Should We Begin? and share your thoughts on this episode in the comments below.
💕💣 How to Deal with Love Bombing 💣💕 Welcome to another installment of our special video series of #EstherCalling, @estherperelofficial’s column, where the psychotherapist, best-selling author, and leading expert on contemporary relationships answers questions we received from you, @thecut’s followers. This week, Esther takes on a question about how to spot and avoid love bombing in new romantic relationships. Hear more relationship advice from Esther in her podcast, ‘Where Should We Begin?’ at the link in bio.
A good question changes the story. It disrupts a pattern. It goes deeper. Sometimes, it goes sideways. It enables us to travel to a new place without ever leaving one another’s side. This is exactly what the audience questions did during my East Coast tour. Engaging with audience members, especially through the thought-provoking questions they posed, allowed us to find all that we had in common and to delight in what made us each unique. Knowing these questions can’t all be addressed in one evening, I invited those who didn’t get a chance to ask theirs in person to submit them. I dedicated a special episode to answering and exploring these questions in depth, continuing our dialogue as if we were all still together in the theater. As I take a summer break to recharge, I look forward to continuing the West Coast portion of the tour in September and answering more of your questions. Tune into “Esther Takes Your Questions” on your Apple Podcast subscription of Where Should We Begin? Photos captured by: @cwfour
A good question changes the story. It disrupts a pattern. It goes deeper. Sometimes, it goes sideways. It enables us to travel to a new place without ever leaving one another’s side. This is exactly what the audience questions did during my East Coast tour. Engaging with audience members, especially through the thought-provoking questions they posed, allowed us to find all that we had in common and to delight in what made us each unique. Knowing these questions can’t all be addressed in one evening, I invited those who didn’t get a chance to ask theirs in person to submit them. I dedicated a special episode to answering and exploring these questions in depth, continuing our dialogue as if we were all still together in the theater. As I take a summer break to recharge, I look forward to continuing the West Coast portion of the tour in September and answering more of your questions. Tune into “Esther Takes Your Questions” on your Apple Podcast subscription of Where Should We Begin? Photos captured by: @cwfour
☎️❓What Responsibility Do We Have to Our Estranged Aging Parents? ❓☎️ Welcome to another installment of our special video series of #EstherCalling, @estherperelofficial’s column, where the psychotherapist, best-selling author, and leading expert on contemporary relationships answers questions we received from you, @thecut’s followers. This week, Esther takes on a question about whether it’s worth reconciling with estranged parents as they age. Hear more relationship advice from Esther in her podcast, ‘Where Should We Begin?’ at the link in bio. Video by @sash.fm
**This post and podcast episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including suicide. I want to provide a warning in case this content is difficult for you. Please take care while listening.** In the sixth episode of The Arc of Love series, we explore a profound journey of healing. After the suicide of his first wife, which left four children deeply affected, he and his current wife have spent six years rebuilding their lives. Now, as they seek to find joy in their marriage, I guide them through the process of moving from mere survival to a renewed sense of life after loss. Listen to “A Romantic Revival” on Where Should We Begin? to hear their story. Stay tuned for a special subscription episode later this week, where, for the first time, I follow up with the couple in a second session.
**This post and podcast episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including suicide. I want to provide a warning in case this content is difficult for you. Please take care while listening.** In the sixth episode of The Arc of Love series, we explore a profound journey of healing. After the suicide of his first wife, which left four children deeply affected, he and his current wife have spent six years rebuilding their lives. Now, as they seek to find joy in their marriage, I guide them through the process of moving from mere survival to a renewed sense of life after loss. Listen to “A Romantic Revival” on Where Should We Begin? to hear their story. Stay tuned for a special subscription episode later this week, where, for the first time, I follow up with the couple in a second session.
**This post and podcast episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including suicide. I want to provide a warning in case this content is difficult for you. Please take care while listening.** In the sixth episode of The Arc of Love series, we explore a profound journey of healing. After the suicide of his first wife, which left four children deeply affected, he and his current wife have spent six years rebuilding their lives. Now, as they seek to find joy in their marriage, I guide them through the process of moving from mere survival to a renewed sense of life after loss. Listen to “A Romantic Revival” on Where Should We Begin? to hear their story. Stay tuned for a special subscription episode later this week, where, for the first time, I follow up with the couple in a second session.
☎️ Esther Calling ☎️ We’re kicking off a special video series of #EstherCalling, @estherperelofficial’s column, where the psychotherapist, best-selling author, and leading expert on contemporary relationships answers questions we received from you, @thecut’s followers. And since it’s #CheatersWeek at the Cut, why not start things off with a question about how to approach new relationships after a past one ends in infidelity? Hear more relationship advice from Esther in her podcast, ‘Where Should We Begin?’ at the link in bio. Video by @sash.fm and @christinahong66
