This dude got himself a Mercedes from working in a moving company! Talk about moving on up!
Florida loves their gators 🧡💙🐊
You guys aren’t as slick as you think! 😂
Has Springfield, Missouri, always been like this, or did Walter White move into the neighborhood?
Sexy Horror Music #TJMILLER #horrormusic #cinema #movies
You either barely have teeth or you’ve never done meth.
The war between Disney World and Universal Studios is tearing Orlando apart! 😂
That’s one hell of an anniversary gift. 😂
That’s pretty deep. @teenagemillionaire 🎤: T.J. Miller, “Smooth Peanut Butter”, now available wherever you listen to comedy. Love comedy like us? For free specials, new releases and a weekly clip in your Friday inbox, sign up to the Troop at the link in our bio! #tjmiller #smoothpeanutbutter #standup #comedy #standupcomedy #jokes
CHEERS!🍻🥂🍷 I’ll drink to that.
Interesting live poll. 🤣
In this case, Vegan dry-ish January. Barely damp vegan January. @rosepetalpistol and I did a hardcore vegan cleanse together at the beginning of the year and followed that with a Level II detox (not recommended) and for some insane reason we are continuing it. She feels invigorated, focused, better than ever, she loves how she looks, her skin, her eyes! I think it’s interesting to be annoying. I look the same. But it’s a trip, boy. I understand why they talk about it all the time because you can’t eat SHIT of anything everyone eats. It’s pretty fucking challenging. Everything that is not meat is cheese. That’s basically it. You’re left with vegetables and few sources of protein. Two days ago I ate ¾ OF A JAR of peanut butter in various ways. Yes I just said “various ways” and @rosepetalpistol loved that she could not stop cracking up. But to go from meat protein almost daily to vegan is insane. My body is clearly upset and is considering not talking to me any more. Might even cut off the relationship. Did I mention I’m only drinking bitters and soda? 𝘮𝘺 𝟥𝟧 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧: “shut the fuck door no way he’s actually a vegan who doesn’t really drink? Who pasted his balls to a wallaby?” 𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸: “I did it for you dad! I did it for youuuu! Just kidding it’s for research it’s actually pretty funny and fun.” 𝘮𝘺 𝟥𝟧 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧: “so are you going to like, become a vegan?” 𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸: “Shut that mouth young boy! You know big baby needs his steak!” But everyone agrees, including @rosepetalpistol and @jasonlandonmarcus that five weeks is the funniest amount of time to be a vegan and then stop. So here we gooooooo #🥗🥦🥒🥕🌽🥔🍆🧅🧄🌶️🫛🍠🫑🍑🍓🍒🥑🍎🍌🌱🍊🍍🍋🥥🥜🍇🍜🍉🥝🍄🥨🍏🍝🍚🍈🥙🌰🍐🫐🫚🫒🫒🧆🥭🫓🍲 🚫🥛🥚🧀🧀🪤🍔🍗🥓🥩🍖🐟🐠🎣🎣🍣🍤🎏🍥🐥🐣🐤🐓🍗🐔🐖🥓🐷🧸🐻🐇🐰🐸🦃🇹🇷
Truly truly a Florida pleasure and treasure- @retroitis FTW, @funknacious the king. Thank you Florida, and thank you to everyone for a 2023 that could not have been better except for the bad parts, but as Seneca says- “what the hell does that videocassette say?!”
Merry Christmas from me, Santa Claus. See you next year on the big screen… Cc @jasonlandonmarcus #tutys
Are you that kind of guy?
These are the moments that could only happen in Springfield Missouri. 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐃 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 (100% Improvised) streaming on my YouTube Channel NOW. (@tjmiller) #springfield #crowdwork #tjmiller
Take a moment to give a moment to donate $4 to directrelief.org for the Hawaii Maui fires. It takes so little. And thanksgiving is the day to do it. I love you all. Except Danica. ❤️🇺🇸🦃🌺
The nasty little peanut butter boy. #nasty #little #peanut #butter #boy #nastylittlepeanutbutterboy #ilaugheduntilicried
Am I the only one who thinks of Ray Finkle’s when watching this 😬 #home #nostalgia #tjmiller #childhoodmemories
