Quinn Brett Instagram – 42. Never married. No children. Paralyzed. Picture quite opposite the feeling.
I have been holding onto sharing — waiting. I have arrived at a safe place — my usual lens for education, wishful community honesty and normalization. Not a lonely plea.
I have been focused on “finding a partner” for the last 10 years. Andrews death was an astounding marker. Looking back now, knowing my needs, let alone speaking them was an issue prior to my injury. Spinal cord injury, unfortunately, compounded the fear. I feel like I am unloveable. I am a burden. Insecure and therefore coming from a place of scarcity. Lessons of the 4 horseman forcing clarity, growth, reflection, increased communication , dating app attempts, human connection attempts and here we are…..trying to give less fucks and be assertive.
It is hard. It has been hard. Friendships, romance and self-love, are just fucking hard.
Disability or not. I am not alone. I can be in the victim mindset when it comes to romantic love— not one single human has said “HEY QUINN, I choose you!” Let alone a conversation about children.
OR what is the more rounded, fair, rational truth to the story? #wemakechoices
We can love and disappoint. We will shy away and avoid—- Ourselves and each other. We need to find grace to forgive, grace to let go.
We also need to do the work. Own the work.
Lately, I have had some “tough” conversations with people I care for. Tough because I love them and they love me. Because we are friends for decades or we just genuinely care about each other. The cool (and crazy) thing is, the people who love me for me— and I them for them—— aren’t offended when we both can share our insecurities, ourselves, our needs and disappointments in a tone of truth.
This is not the life I imagined but when is it?
Love grows.
#love #grief #gratitude #growth #adapt
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#climbing #rockclimbing #enduranceathlete #skiing #mountains #mountainbiking #trailrunning #running #roadbiking #crossfit #yoga #paragliding #outdoors #athlete #diving #spinalcordinjury #spinalcordresearch #paralyzed #wilderness #disability | Posted on 28/Apr/2023 10:44:17
