In the age of TikTok and Instagram, 30-second Reels, and 15-second watch times, we’re prone to oversimplification. We stylize and categorize at a more rapid rate than ever before, with attention spans that reflect the fast-paced high-stimulation culture in which we live.
At first glance, we perceive others based on the surface — an accent, an outfit, a set of carefully chosen signals that we curate and display. But if we left at that, we would never know the complexity of this person, the host of experiences, ideas, layers and even contradictions that comprise each individual. It’s in those complexities that we find the most interesting aspects of a person, and of anything for that matter.
That’s where my highest interest lies, in the paradoxes, the details, the messy intricacies that lie beyond the surface and the screens.
It’s about time.
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
In my most recent newsletter, I expressed my commitment to focus. To focus on one thing consistently, one thing that does not involve me touching my phone, and going deep just into that one thing.
This fall, it’s guitar. I’ve wanted to pick it back up for years. I want to get that focus back—string by string—and finally calm my wandering mind. So, I’m doing it. I’ve committed to learning four songs from the old days.
Recently, I told a colleague over Zoom I couldn’t go into “meeting overtime” because my guitar teacher was coming. And, with that, I immediately saw how committing specific time to learning also creates a helpful boundary between work and home.
My advice to you is to try something new—especially something creative—it’s a great way to jumpstart emotional connection. Having a project, building something, planting, cooking or baking (especially the recipes of our ancestors)… It’s the small, heartwarming, sensual thing that brings light into our lives in a new way.
And if even that feels difficult, start here: close your eyes and imagine feeling totally flat. What are you thinking? What other feelings come up? How does your body feel? What does it make you want to do?
Now, reverse that. Imagine the most joyful feeling you can conjure. Take it to its extreme. What thoughts inspire that state of mind? How does it feel in your body? What might you feel motivated to do? Sometimes just taking this mindset of peaceful excitement with us as we continue in our routines can help refresh them. And when we’re ready to take it further, our imagination will be waiting, ready.
This month, I’ve been exploring what it means to take a break. Finding the true meaning of being on vacation, being able to detach from our work and home lives to focus on the importance of unwinding. Allowing ourselves the opportunity to rejuvenate, create mental space, recharge our systems and play.
As the summer hiatus comes to a close and we prepare to resume business as usual, it’s crucial to bear in mind that even at work, there lies room for playfulness. Playfulness breaks down invisible walls between people, often leading to more fluid teamwork as well as enhanced creativity, problem-solving or innovation breakthroughs. Visit the link in my bio to read about my 3 Secrets to Happiness at Work.
This month, I’ve been exploring what it means to take a break. Finding the true meaning of being on vacation, being able to detach from our work and home lives to focus on the importance of unwinding. Allowing ourselves the opportunity to rejuvenate, create mental space, recharge our systems and play.
As the summer hiatus comes to a close and we prepare to resume business as usual, it’s crucial to bear in mind that even at work, there lies room for playfulness. Playfulness breaks down invisible walls between people, often leading to more fluid teamwork as well as enhanced creativity, problem-solving or innovation breakthroughs. Visit the link in my bio to read about my 3 Secrets to Happiness at Work.
This month, I’ve been exploring what it means to take a break. Finding the true meaning of being on vacation, being able to detach from our work and home lives to focus on the importance of unwinding. Allowing ourselves the opportunity to rejuvenate, create mental space, recharge our systems and play.
As the summer hiatus comes to a close and we prepare to resume business as usual, it’s crucial to bear in mind that even at work, there lies room for playfulness. Playfulness breaks down invisible walls between people, often leading to more fluid teamwork as well as enhanced creativity, problem-solving or innovation breakthroughs. Visit the link in my bio to read about my 3 Secrets to Happiness at Work.
This month, I’ve been exploring what it means to take a break. Finding the true meaning of being on vacation, being able to detach from our work and home lives to focus on the importance of unwinding. Allowing ourselves the opportunity to rejuvenate, create mental space, recharge our systems and play.
As the summer hiatus comes to a close and we prepare to resume business as usual, it’s crucial to bear in mind that even at work, there lies room for playfulness. Playfulness breaks down invisible walls between people, often leading to more fluid teamwork as well as enhanced creativity, problem-solving or innovation breakthroughs. Visit the link in my bio to read about my 3 Secrets to Happiness at Work.
Have you ever found yourself grappling with conflicting emotions towards your sibling’s significant other? It’s a situation many of us have encountered – a blend of love, loyalty, and sometimes even frustration. Navigating the dynamics between siblings and their partners can be a rollercoaster of emotions, as we try to balance our own feelings with the happiness of our loved ones.
From feeling protective over your sibling to questioning their choice, these sentiments can stir up a whirlwind of thoughts. It’s a unique challenge, one that tests our ability to accept and embrace change within our family dynamics.
Join me in the latest episode of Where Should We Begin, “My Brother’s Wife Ruined Our Relationship” as we tell the story of a woman who wrestles with a unique dilemma – her brother’s wife seemingly poses a barrier to their bond. Through years of comparing her brother’s closeness to her own romances, she’s found herself repeatedly single. Throughout this episode we delve deep into navigating family ties and love’s complexities and confront her question, “If you really understood and loved me, why would you choose her?”
Many of you may be aware that my parents were survivors of Nazi concentration camps, and and sole survivors of their respective families. Growing up, death was a recurring theme in our conversations, yet it never held the spotlight. They were so busy re-learning how to be alive and how to forge ahead that talking about the end of life felt taboo.
My parents aimed to savor life beyond mere survival. They were determined to enjoy life as more than survivors. For them, there was a difference between “not being dead” and “being alive.” This distinction seeded my fascination with eroticism—a force countering lifelessness. Still, our avoidance of addressing death rendered us unprepared when it inevitably arrived. I used to believe that talking about death was intrusive and, superstitiously, I feared that it would make it come sooner. However, in a society that champions mastery, death remains beyond our control.
If you are in the grip of the fear of some things, then you won’t take risks, you won’t take actions, you won’t take chances, because it can be a paralyzing fear. Embracing an awareness of death, however, propels us toward creativity, art, family, and other endeavors that temper the specter of death. To be aware of death is to address life itself—embracing hope, fear, ambiguity, imagination, legacy, relationships, duty, and love.
For more on this topic, visit the link in my bio to listen to the full conversation with @nayeemaraza and @karaswisher as we discuss grief and how we live through it.
She has never quite fit into the mold of the preacher’s wife in their small town. He has put his self-worth solely into his career, as a bandaid over deep-seated childhood insecurities. They have never been able to come to terms with the resentment they both experience. Join me in the first part of a special two-part episode “The Preacher’s Wife” available now on Where Should We Begin?
Listen through the link in my bio.
It seems like everyone these days is talking about attachment theory but often only pertaining to monogamy. How do our attachment styles play out in other relational configurations?
I chatted with polyamorous psychotherapist, Jessica Fern, who extends attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy and changes the idea that attachment is only a story of two.
I invite you to step into “My Office Hours” on Where Should We Begin? and listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts Subscriptions.
It seems like everyone these days is talking about attachment theory but often only pertaining to monogamy. How do our attachment styles play out in other relational configurations?
I chatted with polyamorous psychotherapist, Jessica Fern, who extends attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy and changes the idea that attachment is only a story of two.
I invite you to step into “My Office Hours” on Where Should We Begin? and listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts Subscriptions.
I recently joined Emily on her @sexwithemily podcast to dive deep into your questions about intimacy. From rekindling the spark in your relationship to navigating non-monogamy and exploring the role of technology in our desires – we discuss it all. Listen to our full conversation through the link in my bio and share your thoughts with me in the comments below.
An old memory keeps resurfacing. My three year old son, standing in front of our apartment. He’s inching ever closer to a giant hole in the street. It’s safely blocked off but he can get close enough to see people inside of it, working on the gas lines. He leans in and then—for two whole hours—stares and points into the hole while asking the workers question after question about what they are doing.
I was totally in awe of this little insatiably inquisitive being: his curiosity and intense focus on this particular thing he wanted to learn. But, in retrospect, it’s the time span that stands out—two whole hours.
Two whole hours to do nothing but ask questions, listen, learn, observe, engage, peer into the vast emptiness of a hole in the street. No distractions. And my dominant feeling as I remember this day? Pure unadulterated envy. The unbounded freedom to learn new things, the unstructured time, the ability to simply focus.
Last month, I spoke about being being full. Full of people, stories , their problems, my own…and there not being much room left inside me. I expressed my need to empty the tank, to digest and create space, and my desire to recharge my system. I’ve decided that I’m taking my time back. With my recharged system, I’m harnessing the “back to school” energy of September in pursuit of three things: focus, curiosity, and learning.
To join me on this journey and for advice on how to better focus and learn new things, read this month’s newsletter and stay tuned as we delve deeper into this topic.
An old memory keeps resurfacing. My three year old son, standing in front of our apartment. He’s inching ever closer to a giant hole in the street. It’s safely blocked off but he can get close enough to see people inside of it, working on the gas lines. He leans in and then—for two whole hours—stares and points into the hole while asking the workers question after question about what they are doing.
I was totally in awe of this little insatiably inquisitive being: his curiosity and intense focus on this particular thing he wanted to learn. But, in retrospect, it’s the time span that stands out—two whole hours.
Two whole hours to do nothing but ask questions, listen, learn, observe, engage, peer into the vast emptiness of a hole in the street. No distractions. And my dominant feeling as I remember this day? Pure unadulterated envy. The unbounded freedom to learn new things, the unstructured time, the ability to simply focus.
Last month, I spoke about being being full. Full of people, stories , their problems, my own…and there not being much room left inside me. I expressed my need to empty the tank, to digest and create space, and my desire to recharge my system. I’ve decided that I’m taking my time back. With my recharged system, I’m harnessing the “back to school” energy of September in pursuit of three things: focus, curiosity, and learning.
To join me on this journey and for advice on how to better focus and learn new things, read this month’s newsletter and stay tuned as we delve deeper into this topic.
An old memory keeps resurfacing. My three year old son, standing in front of our apartment. He’s inching ever closer to a giant hole in the street. It’s safely blocked off but he can get close enough to see people inside of it, working on the gas lines. He leans in and then—for two whole hours—stares and points into the hole while asking the workers question after question about what they are doing.
I was totally in awe of this little insatiably inquisitive being: his curiosity and intense focus on this particular thing he wanted to learn. But, in retrospect, it’s the time span that stands out—two whole hours.
Two whole hours to do nothing but ask questions, listen, learn, observe, engage, peer into the vast emptiness of a hole in the street. No distractions. And my dominant feeling as I remember this day? Pure unadulterated envy. The unbounded freedom to learn new things, the unstructured time, the ability to simply focus.
Last month, I spoke about being being full. Full of people, stories , their problems, my own…and there not being much room left inside me. I expressed my need to empty the tank, to digest and create space, and my desire to recharge my system. I’ve decided that I’m taking my time back. With my recharged system, I’m harnessing the “back to school” energy of September in pursuit of three things: focus, curiosity, and learning.
To join me on this journey and for advice on how to better focus and learn new things, read this month’s newsletter and stay tuned as we delve deeper into this topic.
An old memory keeps resurfacing. My three year old son, standing in front of our apartment. He’s inching ever closer to a giant hole in the street. It’s safely blocked off but he can get close enough to see people inside of it, working on the gas lines. He leans in and then—for two whole hours—stares and points into the hole while asking the workers question after question about what they are doing.
I was totally in awe of this little insatiably inquisitive being: his curiosity and intense focus on this particular thing he wanted to learn. But, in retrospect, it’s the time span that stands out—two whole hours.
Two whole hours to do nothing but ask questions, listen, learn, observe, engage, peer into the vast emptiness of a hole in the street. No distractions. And my dominant feeling as I remember this day? Pure unadulterated envy. The unbounded freedom to learn new things, the unstructured time, the ability to simply focus.
Last month, I spoke about being being full. Full of people, stories , their problems, my own…and there not being much room left inside me. I expressed my need to empty the tank, to digest and create space, and my desire to recharge my system. I’ve decided that I’m taking my time back. With my recharged system, I’m harnessing the “back to school” energy of September in pursuit of three things: focus, curiosity, and learning.
To join me on this journey and for advice on how to better focus and learn new things, read this month’s newsletter and stay tuned as we delve deeper into this topic.
An old memory keeps resurfacing. My three year old son, standing in front of our apartment. He’s inching ever closer to a giant hole in the street. It’s safely blocked off but he can get close enough to see people inside of it, working on the gas lines. He leans in and then—for two whole hours—stares and points into the hole while asking the workers question after question about what they are doing.
I was totally in awe of this little insatiably inquisitive being: his curiosity and intense focus on this particular thing he wanted to learn. But, in retrospect, it’s the time span that stands out—two whole hours.
Two whole hours to do nothing but ask questions, listen, learn, observe, engage, peer into the vast emptiness of a hole in the street. No distractions. And my dominant feeling as I remember this day? Pure unadulterated envy. The unbounded freedom to learn new things, the unstructured time, the ability to simply focus.
Last month, I spoke about being being full. Full of people, stories , their problems, my own…and there not being much room left inside me. I expressed my need to empty the tank, to digest and create space, and my desire to recharge my system. I’ve decided that I’m taking my time back. With my recharged system, I’m harnessing the “back to school” energy of September in pursuit of three things: focus, curiosity, and learning.
To join me on this journey and for advice on how to better focus and learn new things, read this month’s newsletter and stay tuned as we delve deeper into this topic.
When tragedy strikes their church and community, the preacher and his wife embark on a journey to rebuild, not only for themselves but also for their congregation. Join me for the second part of this special two-part episode of “The Preacher’s Wife”, as we navigate through the complexities of life.
Please be aware that this episode touches on the sensitive topic of suicide. Take care while listening.
