So I’ve decided to come back to instagram after a two year (meno)PAUSE. I went through the first half of menopause during Covid and tried everything to keep it at bay. I took bio-identical hormones (and still do), dieted harder and faster but still managed to gain 15 pounds, tried Ozempic for a week but gave up after the constant nausea and vomiting, got rid of the waddle on my neck, tried Botox, fillers and lasers, face creams, cellulite machines, face threads, teeth straightening and more. I did copious amounts of therapy, including micro-dosing psilocybin, left Hollywood and all social media and at the end of it all finally moved to Paris. That was October of 2021. I decided then to really delve into the PAUSE in menopause and to immerse myself in the 7 tasks of mid-life that Carl Jung spoke about. Jung said the mid-life point is marked by disillusionment and depression. He said to cross over successfully to the second half of life, one needed to complete these tasks. (More on that later). Now after finally coming out of my cocoon of self reflection, I want to share my journey over the last two years to accept my newly emerging self. I hope these posts will help anyone crossing over to the “second half of life” and inspire them not to avoid menopause but to embrace it. So here we go! #mariasmenopause #menopause #secondhalfoflife #thepause
Yes!!! Congratulations @beef_netflix_official @beherelater @aliwong Steven Yuen and the whole crew for the golden globe awards! So proud to be apart of this amazing creation.
Task #1 of Jung’s 7 tasks of mid-life –
Facing the reality of aging and dying.
I’m on a lovely vacation with my family. I feel grounded and free here. AND YET.. my father fell last night in the senior home he is now living in and was sent to the hospital. My mother was, as always, by his side. But she couldn’t sleep with him in the hospital bed because she had to have some tests done this morning at 6am. She has cancer and has been going through treatment for a few months. I’m sure as always she will be fine. She’s a tough cookie. They also sold their house that they lived in for 60 years. AND YET… now in the second half of my life, I see, like ALL of us – our parents and people we care about getting closer to death. It’s inevitable. And I’m still enjoying it here on our vacation. I know I can’t stop them from aging. I know I can’t stop them from dying.
In my PAUSE, I learned to accept this fact. It is, and was, bizarrely freeing. Try it. You’re brave enough to go there. Take your ten minutes everyday as you PAUSE and face the reality of this. There is a gift waiting for you as you move through that point called Mid-Life and get to the other side.
So in my PAUSE I also reevaluated my fashion. My usual uniform of jeans with a white button down or a black turtle neck are getting a little old. I still have a ribbed black turtleneck that I bought 22 years ago. Of course a little hole happens now and again at this point. (@lorytailer Thank you for always patching it:). So I was inspired by the costume designer of BEEF @hellyhuang (who was also nominated for an Emmy!)when she added color and prints for my character, Jordan. And I liked it shockingly. I liked it so much that i started to incorporate it into my own wardrobe. I liked how powerful and confident I felt in it. I still wear my uniform most days but in the PAUSE I realized I could embrace the change that comes with age and add another layer that I hadn’t even thought about in the first half of my life. I will never be in a half naked dress as many are wearing on the red carpet these days. They look hot as shit but at my age i don’t want to run around with my panties hanging out! 😂. Play with fashion. It’s fun to stretch in the PAUSE
Yep, this is AGING. The second photo was taken almost 30 years ago and the first one is now-ish. I hated this now-ish photo during my PAUSE and all of the photos of me with crinkled eyes, smoking lines on my lips and droopy lids.
That’s all I saw—the imperfections. I would compare photos Iike these—the old me and the new me, and of course it made me feel horrible about the new me. During my PAUSE I had to dig deep to look at my own judgement and ask, “Who taught me to hate aging? And why?”
Every housewife on tv was seemingly getting younger, so why was I looking older and older?
And then, flaneusing around Paris one day, towards the end of my PAUSE, I came upon a Gertrude Stein exhibit. She wasn’t young or pretty in a conventional sense, yet she carried herself in the second half of life in a powerful way.
Picasso painted her in this phase and so did Warhol among many because they saw what I saw when I looked at her—POWER.
I thought about her face with its creases and carves and her smile that read—“I don’t give a damn,” then I looked at my own face in the mirror, I said out loud, “Own it”. Own your history and age and crinkles and power and POSSIBILITY. You’ve earned it. I said this on repeat whenever I wanted to judge my aging. And that helped get me through the PAUSE. Post your 30 years ago and you now. Own it. Tell me what you like about your new self. #midlifemidwife #secondhalfoflife
Yep, this is AGING. The second photo was taken almost 30 years ago and the first one is now-ish. I hated this now-ish photo during my PAUSE and all of the photos of me with crinkled eyes, smoking lines on my lips and droopy lids.
That’s all I saw—the imperfections. I would compare photos Iike these—the old me and the new me, and of course it made me feel horrible about the new me. During my PAUSE I had to dig deep to look at my own judgement and ask, “Who taught me to hate aging? And why?”
Every housewife on tv was seemingly getting younger, so why was I looking older and older?
And then, flaneusing around Paris one day, towards the end of my PAUSE, I came upon a Gertrude Stein exhibit. She wasn’t young or pretty in a conventional sense, yet she carried herself in the second half of life in a powerful way.
Picasso painted her in this phase and so did Warhol among many because they saw what I saw when I looked at her—POWER.
I thought about her face with its creases and carves and her smile that read—“I don’t give a damn,” then I looked at my own face in the mirror, I said out loud, “Own it”. Own your history and age and crinkles and power and POSSIBILITY. You’ve earned it. I said this on repeat whenever I wanted to judge my aging. And that helped get me through the PAUSE. Post your 30 years ago and you now. Own it. Tell me what you like about your new self. #midlifemidwife #secondhalfoflife
Going into 2024 like… welcome to the second half of life! May this year be filled with much love and many blessings for you and those you love.
Like many of you I am re-evaluating my relationship with all social media. There are many reasons, but the main one being it is now common knowledge that it is toxic for young girls. Perhaps I will be back after a deep dive but who knows. I appreciate every one of you. Funny being a liberal, progressive Hollywood Whatever, I have kind followers from both sides of the aisle. I honor you all so much for your kindness. Love always wins. I’m sure of that. #thanksjack #loveislove
I’ve worked a lot in my 30 years as an actor. Some jobs have been creatively fulfilling and some have not been. Some have paid me and some have not. Some people I worked with were assholes and most pretty great. Some were trustworthy and forthright and some definitely were not. So in my PAUSE I decided in the second half of my life to only work on projects if they had great writing and a great team and I was paid properly. And only with people who I liked and trusted and would have fun with. Lo and behold – BEEF @beef_netflix_official dropped out of the sky and I was nominated with the show for an Emmy and a critics choice award for the very first time. Thanks to the brilliance of the creator Lee Sung Jin, @aliwong @joeyunlee @youngmazino @ashleyparklady Steven Yuen and the whole cast and crew, I was able to stay true to my mission. A mission that evolved in my PAUSE. What do you want your work life to look like in the second half? Having a clearly defined intention lead me to being part of something at midlife that I would have never expected. Link in my bio to the interview about my journey @goldderby
So this is cool. @people magazine did an interview about my PAUSE and my using Jung’s 7 steps for crossing over to the second half of life with grace and grit. Link in my bio. Let’s keep talking about this! Whatever gender you are we are all going through midlife or will eventually. #midlifemidwife
I took the PAUSE with the hope that I could find a more conscious way forward into the second half of my life. It is not lost on me how lucky I am that I had the opportunity to move to Paris as my partner @dominiquecrenn started a restaurant @goldenpoppy. I didn’t have much acting work so I was focusing on writing. But you take yourself with you wherever you go. As beautiful as Paris is, I found myself bereft at my changing mind and body at the beginning of my PAUSE. I felt static and confused and that was only intensified by my changing hormones and night sweats. Some days the only thing that could get me out of my funk was “flaneusing”. A Flaneur in France was historically a man who walked the city. The feminist word for a Flaneur is Flâneuse. I would find a destination, an hour or two from our house, and Flâneuse(or slowly walk) my way there. I would pause at a cafe to have coffee or stop at music being played on a bridge. It worked almost every time. It’s important to get out of ourselves wherever we are. Whether that’s taking time to Flâneuse around our neighborhood, our mall or a city. It gave me time to reflect on how I defined my life and how I would redefine it in the second half. Slowly, I began to recreate my life…#mariasmenopause #secondhalfoflife #menopause
#thePAUSE
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
The renowned psychiatrist and artist, Carl Jung, helped me consciously enter the PAUSE with his theory of the 7 tasks for crossing over to the second half of life. His Red Book that @patriciaarquette bought me 20 years ago is still on my coffee table.
I knew a little about Jung. I even had a Jungian therapist at one point for a few years. So when I was at my lowest – in the middle of my menopause before i took the conscious PAUSE – where I could barely smile or look at myself in a mirror – I discovered something of his that changed my whole experience.
Jung had a theory about the second half of life. He ascertained that mid-life was just as important a transition as birth and death – a crossing over. But no one was talking about it. (And still aren’t). He saw in his clients a disappointment, disillusionment and depression for a few years when they were between the first half of life and the second half.
So Jung came up with 7 tasks that people need to face in midlife to cross over like a badass as they move through the transition into the second half of life.
Are you in the midst of crossing over? Let’s talk about it.
If you’re interested in buying a copy of The Red Book or any of Jung’s books, please consider shopping from an indie bookshop like I do w/ @harrietts_bookshop #mariasmenopause #midlifemidwife #midlifemidwives
Merry merry joy filled week to all of you. Time to PAUSE! And PLAY.
Gertrude Stein was an author, collector of people and the host of the greatest literary salon in Paris at the turn of the century. Alice B Toklas was a muse and dream maker, and the “wife” of Gertrude Stein. Warhol has painted them. They traded Picasso one of his first painting for a place in their salon. They were married til the day they died. Like @dominiquecrenn and I perhaps as we age. Except our dog is not a poodle but a girl called Lulu:). Find your role models in the second half of life.
Gertrude Stein was an author, collector of people and the host of the greatest literary salon in Paris at the turn of the century. Alice B Toklas was a muse and dream maker, and the “wife” of Gertrude Stein. Warhol has painted them. They traded Picasso one of his first painting for a place in their salon. They were married til the day they died. Like @dominiquecrenn and I perhaps as we age. Except our dog is not a poodle but a girl called Lulu:). Find your role models in the second half of life.
Gertrude Stein was an author, collector of people and the host of the greatest literary salon in Paris at the turn of the century. Alice B Toklas was a muse and dream maker, and the “wife” of Gertrude Stein. Warhol has painted them. They traded Picasso one of his first painting for a place in their salon. They were married til the day they died. Like @dominiquecrenn and I perhaps as we age. Except our dog is not a poodle but a girl called Lulu:). Find your role models in the second half of life.
I got pre-married! On my own this weekend—not on purpose, but on purpose, I tied the knot. I noticed that I’ve been spending too much time alone in the house watching home makeover shows, so I decided to go out and look for inspiration. On this quest I ended up at the @lunaluna and stumbled across the wedding chapel of @spaetes.leuchten . It was a magical moment for me. Just me. Stepping out by myself. Before the Pause, almost everything I did was for someone else, but part of Jung’s teaching about the second half is to remember that there is so much more to learn and that learning is personal. In my pause I started exploring art which I knew very little about. I decided wherever I was that I would find the art and the artists – whether in museums, galleries, books or on the internet. Artists help me to be present. They remind me to let the magic happen. I saw some other amazing works that I will put into my stories. Including coming upon a woman and man dancing inside an exhibit by @hockneymakingart Magic moments I may not have stopped to see in the first half. But since the PAUSE, I’m here for magic moments that are just for me.
