Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
Another birthday for my babe and another round up of photos that tell our story. We have now known each other for 18 years and given you met me when you were 18, you’ve now known me for half of your life. Unbelievable. Thanks for taking me along for the ride – every shift, every phase, every absolutely gut-wrenching-beautiful-difficult-incredible-what-the-actual-f*ck moment. We were meant to live this life and many more together. I love you @nicotortorella 1. 2017, the trip to the jungle where we decided to get married 2. 2006, the first picture we ever took together (I was soooo nervous) 3. 2008, New Year’s Eve in our Los Angeles apartment (when we were raw foodist and dressed like the 1920/30’s always) 4. 2013 ish?? Those years when we weren’t together but still best friends 5. 2017, shooting the cover of the advocate and my favorite video of us 6. 2018, our wedding day – just me, you and the courthouse 7. 2021, the years we were trying to conceive. The quiet sadness that overcame us 8. 2022, pregnant with our first, completely overjoyed 9. 2023, becoming parents to Kilmer Dove 10. 2024, finding out our family is growing to four Life comes at you fast. Hold on. 💫
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
HERE SHE COMES! A series 🥹 —> The slower I go, the happier I am. I was recently filling out some pregnancy paperwork and the question was, on a scale of 1-10 how is your stress level. I stared at it for a while because it hit me that I’ve never answered below an 8 and now I felt like I could honestly say a 3. Stress and particularly anxiety have always been a really big part of my life for a really long time. I’m not saying I’m completely stress free. There are plenty of things currently happening in life to worry about – moving to a new state, in between jobs, finances, what’s next, baby coming etc etc – and yes, I know I live a life that contains privilege that not everyone comes by. I’ve never shied away from acknowledging that. But I will say that I’ve very much shifted the way I interact with the world and what I let into my home, heart and mind. My decline in stress has come from actively cutting things out. Less news, less screen time, less horror/violence/anger (in whatever form that may be), less controversial posts on instagram that will have people yelling in my comment section. More outdoor time, more appreciation of the little things, more sleep, more community, more (in person) connection. Like these photos above. I’ve stared at them marveling at the look in me and @nicotortorella’s eyes when we see Kilmer running toward us. Simple joy. Pure love. The realization that the little things are actually the biggest. 🩵
The other day, someone asked me what @nicotortorella is like as a dad and I instantly felt overwhelmed with all the words and no words at all. Watching the birth of Nico as a father has been one of the greatest gifts of parenthood. Equal amounts playful and comforting. He has figured out how to soothe our baby back to sleep, how to comfort her when she falls, how to challenge her to try new things, how to keep her entertained when pregnant mommy is fully tapped out. Since Kilmer has been born, we’ve been given the gift of time. Both of us have been home and while that has come with its own set of challenges, I’ll be forever grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to witness the birth of a father.
I’ve made it to 28 weeks. I breathe a sigh of relief we’ve come this far. Baby feels closer than ever. I feel their kicks and twists and turns. I talk to them and they talk back. I’m softer. I’m quieter. I’m heavier. I’m slower. I’m full in every sense of the word. I’m tired. So tired. My body aches as it grows. I’m sweeter. My dreams taste different but I can’t explain how, it’s like licking air and trying to describe the flavor. I nest. Suddenly nothing is more important than organizing the spice drawer. I fold tiny clothes and make space for a second baby while holding my first baby in my arms. She’s still so young. I begin preparations for our new family member’s entrance. Meditations. Breathing. Affirmations. But knowing, I can never fully be prepared for such a life altering moment. My toddler kisses my belly when I ask where baby is. I try to explain what “big sister” means. What “birth” means. How do you explain life? I desperately cling to these final months as a family of three, while excitedly counting down the days to a family of four.
One of the strangest things about moving to a new state while simultaneously closing @thebecomeproject (not to mention watching my online following slowly turn over from fitness fans to parenting peeps) is “losing” that piece of my identity. I put losing in quotes because I haven’t actually lost it, it will always be a part of me, but for the first time in a very long time, it’s not my primary identifier. And it’s a bizarre transition. The other day while at the library for kids hour, someone asked me what I do. I awkwardly laughed trying to figure out how to answer the question without my old go-to line. I word vomited a slew of things that didn’t make much sense and was met with a blank stare. “I asked when you are due” they said. “Ohhhh October 12th” I sheepishly replied. I started teaching fitness, managing studios and training instructors as a career almost right out of college. I conquered that world quite successfully and became well-known in my field before coming to the realization that it was no longer serving me. And to be honest, it often hurts to no longer be recognized for that. Someone here recently commented that they wish they had my life, beach every day no schedule, no hours. I *think* they were being nice but it didn’t feel that way. Full time mom-ing IS work. I have a toddler so no hours are “mine”. And, even though they haven’t launched yet, I have new projects in the works and no, I sadly don’t go to the beach everyday. I bet one of you can articulate this better than I can but there is such a need as a mother to constantly prove you are both the best at being a mom AND the best at being a business person. As though those two identities MUST go hand in hand. I pulled out one of my old @thebecomeproject routines yesterday and actually stopped halfway through being like damnnn this is good! And not to turn this post into a sales pitch but I still have my collection of routines available for purchase online (link in bio). I’m so proud of that work, body neutral fitness that caters to so many levels. I don’t know how this post ends. Just that that is still me and this is still me and I’m still figuring it all out. And that’s okay
I’m sharing this because when I was pregnant with my first I was truly so confused on what the hell I was supposed to wear for 9 months without having to buy something new every week. Over the course of two pregnancies I’ve found some really great staple items that can be worn different ways and that have stretch / ties / strings that adapt to your changing body. All of these items I’ll be able to wear postpartum which makes them even more worth the $$. Tagging below! 1. @bumpsuit soft rib maxi skirt (sign up for mailing list for discounts! they have sales often) 2. @hatchgal long body tank dress (BETHANY15 for 15% off, not sponsored, just a nice thing they offered you all) 3. @baobeibody breathe bra (my FAVORITE tank / bra for pregnancy and nursing. Check out all their stuff for expectant mothers. Also a small, woman owned brand!) 4. @oddbirdcompany kardeş loungewear (I love everything from here down to the blankets. High quality. Small biz, woman owned. Impeccable customer service!) Gonna tag the shoes too bc I just found this company and got 3 pairs for 50% off. Really good quality, very comfy and great price. @lintervalle
I think about this ALL THE TIME. We are raising babies in a world of endless information, gadgets galore and online access to people who we’ve never met. In ways, that can be helpful and in so many ways it can be detrimental. Especially after I gave birth I felt I needed to do so much studying in order to be a good mom, I quickly realized all the reading was making me more anxious and disconnected from my baby. Turns out, the more I leaned into her, the more we clicked as a unit. Drop a reminder in the comments for the new mom, soon to be mom, or long time mom that we got this and that no book knows how to raise a baby as good as our heart. 🩵
This is one of my favorite thoughts of all time. We aren’t machines. Timelines aren’t universal. Growth doesn’t move in a straight line. By design we are made to ebb and flow, wax and wane, grow rest then grow again. Our only job is to recognize and honor the season we are in.
If you’re part of the crunchy birth world, you know I’m not reinventing the wheel with this tea blend. Red raspberry and nettle leaf are the two go to herbs when it comes to pregnancy and womb health! They have been supporting me so much this pregnancy I figured I’d share this very simple brew with all of you. •measure with your heart •handful of red raspberry •handful of nettle (note nettle is bitter in taste so I usually do about half the amount of red raspberry) •brew anywhere from 1-24 hours! •I bought these herbs from @frontiercoop which you can find on Amazon Note: there are mixed reviews on drinking this in first trimester. My midwives are fans of drinking this blend throughout the entire pregnancy but in moderation especially in the early days. Their note to me was that the herbs are gentle enough to not cause any issues but if I felt any type of cramping, back off. Check with your care team and listen to your body and baby to know what’s right for you! Red raspberry and nettle are EXCELLENT in 2nd and 3rd tri and great for helping prepare the uterus for birth. Also a great choice postpartum 💫
