As we approach the weekend where many families enjoy eating out or at friends and family, do consider this message. In fact, listen to it twice! The amount of families that complain about their childrens eating habits and manners yet provide NO opportunity,none for their children to learn how to have better table and social manners. I hear excuses of -we can’t afford a small table, YET they are the same families buying 55inch TVs and spending thousands on personal tattoos and spare no thought on how much they just paid for the newest video game for their kids. Parents get your priorities straight because I will tell you another truth, you can tell a lot about a kid and his family environment from those parents who care enough to teach their children the basics of 101 parenting. Just keeping it real with you all. Have a great weekend! Jo xx
Both must exist both. The peace resides in the middle for our families and for our communities, where we can thrive, to be a parent that can sniff out the nuance in every polarized narrative they see and listen to. Jo xx
As you step into the week, parents, I’d love you all to consider this post and remember it to help you and your child. Why? Because it will make conversations less draining on you both, bringing your child to a place of accepting what’s being conveyed as you find a healthy compromise…AND because millions of you find yourself in this verbal ping pong battle daily with your young ones as they reel you into a situation you either end up getting angry in or you are so exhausted you give in to the point that the next time this happens you’ve made your own bed of conflict. Your assertive parental leadership is as simple as 1,2,3. Have a productive week! Jo xx
Sleep deprivation is slowly breaking us all down as a society,yet it is a necessity and absolutely vital to our overall health, yet many talk about it as if a luxury. We live in a world full of so much distraction, pulling us away from ourselves, trying to thrive in circumstances that are challenging every day especially post covid, for some it has been extra tough, so if you decide to sleep train so be it. Just like if you’re a mother who has decided to bottle feed,so be it because sleep makes for a much healthier interaction & relationship between mother and child, and fed is best! Do you parents,do you. You shame a mother for sleep training. You could push her to a place that’s simply not healthy for the entire family, and you are basically saying that her health is not as valuable. Babies absolutely thrive when their mothers are simply healthier. 💙 Jo xx
For your consideration. It is simply common courtesy to be considerate of others, you heard the message,you truly understand the point I’m making respectfully. If you are holding a conversation put your phone away. People will feel seen and paid attention. If you’re holding company, or you are a guest,stop looking at your phone, guests will feel like you want to be there, present. If you’re out for dinner put it away, not on the table,if you are playing with your children, or reading a story, or having a conversation with your teen, remove the distraction, so they will feel loved and considered. If this is too hard to do ask yourself why because you have a problem that has become habitual that you can change if you become empathetic to how your behaviour is impacting others and making them feel. Distraction is a huge problem our society faces daily, staying on task to the connections you yearn for with your partner, teens,friends requires a personal discipline many do not want to entertain. So I ask you,who’s in control of your life and the deeper connections you want,you or your phone? Jo xx
“Allegedly today Health Minister Stephen Kinnock has launched an initiative in schools across Great Britain starting April for children to be part of a ‘Toothbrushing Scheme’. What else will schools do for parents? First potty training now teeth brushing, how many other life skill schemes will teachers have to take on, distracting them from their real role when in fact it is actually a parents responsibility to uphold, because not doing as such is child neglect. It is your child’s basic fundamental rite to be cared for and their basic needs met. Not doing so is CHILD NEGLECT. Where are the healthy boundaries in place,the education clearly needed that teaches families the consequences of such neglect, the line between their role as primary carers and a schools. Perhaps nationwide commercial warnings of tooth decay would be better served and not brushed off as national commercials as this is where parents will probably see this awareness best, on their screens! 1- 5 children with decayed teeth and children in outpatients at hospitals due to decayed teeth..is deplorable. Healthy oral hygiene is critical to a child’s overall health. Parent’s it is YOUR responsibility to uphold and teach your young children basic hygiene, you spend more time on your phones yet here we are. We are in a parenting crisis when we can not carve 4 mins out of our day twice a day to teach or clean our children’s teeth. Perhaps health minister instead of all these schemes, you actually take into consideration that most food that is cheaper for our families struggling in this economy, in the uk, is higher in sugar & sodium and perhaps you might seriously consider having 500,000 Supernannies trained across great britain that can actually serve families best by being in their homes to help educate them,support them, at this critical stage for families in the formative years from 0-7? Something to think about and I’m very open to discussing how we make this happen, helping families help their young. BRUSH YOUR CHILDREN’S TEETH PLEASE I speak on behalf of every child… Parents be the loving nurturing role model our children so desperately need” -Jo xx
Parents, a nugget of wisdom to remember, if you’ve ever watched me helping families you would of witnessed me share that the quickest way to reset as a parent is to change the energy in how you interact with your child, because children can feel,literally feel, the honesty and genuineness behind that shift. When your words, tone and actions align with calm & consistency, they sense the safety in your presence. Over time, they begin to trust that what they feel from you is real and that gives them the room to start changing how they show up too. The more consistent you are in holding that steady, truthful energy, the more your child learns that honesty is welcomed, protected and rewarded with connection. Now if you’re honest with yourself how different is that to how you are showing up now? You got this! Have a great week ahead. Jo xx
❤️😊 Your children are one of a kind. #helpingfamiliesshine💫
Parents just a friendly reminder today as I’ve received a concerning amount of emails from young kids around 11,14yrs and upwards reaching out talking about this subject matter, they are truly stressed, the weight of such a toll mentally shows up in their behaviour, with parents so disconnected themselves they can not see why. There’s nothing wrong with the sporadic sibling look out but when your child becomes your labour force,maybe it’s time to sit down and think about other ways you can seek the support you need. What’s your thoughts 🤔 on this? Jo xx
Children need to know by example that both parents hold parental authority & leadership when it comes to how you respect others and the consequences of such. When you as a woman,a mother give OVER all the authority to the father,even in same sex families there will be one who is holding more feminine or masculine energy so this applies to you too, you basically undermine YOUR authority with your own children. This teaches your child you hold no clout,why bother listening to you at all. Single mums get this because it is only them, however they sometimes sit in their feminine nurturing space unable to see when they need to shift into a more masculine gear to hold down disrespect from their young teens and put in personal boundaries and rules. So if you do one thing today,step up together, show that unity and dads, when mum is in her power learn to stand by her side feeling your support without the need to interrupt her & undermine. Jo xx
How your child behaves towards another should matter to you… let’s face it all children have their moments ALL children. If you focused on this lesson being a teachable moment, you would feel less embarrassed when your child acts out towards another knowing that how they are behaving is coming from a place you need to place your attention to. This would be appreciated by other parents and puts you all in a place of supporting eachother, as a parent can empathize with another parent when their child is mean but not if that parent takes no accountability and turns a blind eye. Maybe your child felt entitled to go first on that slide and push anothers? Maybe your teen felt powerful when they joked on another, and how does that reflect on how you parent at home and what you must change. Did they bully another child because they are the silent witnesses to how you talk to them or your partner when you feel frustrated. Is your child lacking the important lessons of you teaching them patience, manners,consideration, and empathy that you need to become a better example and stop giving in to EVERY DEMAND projecting your own uncomfortablilty onto them. Just thoughts to consider today as children are strong mirrors. All thoughts are welcome. I’d love to hear yours. Jo xx
Even though many parents understand this message, the real thought behind it is, WHY do I pacify my children in certain circumstances? Identifying & Understanding the honest answer to this question as parents will allow you to work on where the challenge lays and then look deeper within yourself to resolve first your need that you unconsciously may be projecting onto your child. If we do this work as parents, our children will not pay the heavy price of your projection and develop the capacity to address instead of cope with the many challenges that will test them throughout life. Jo x
Our ADHD children have super-sonic senses. They are hypervigilant, they can also be Highly Sensitive People and often empathic, which means they sense what you are sometimes unaware of within yourself as a parent. They seek clarity and safety and look for alignment in order to breathe with their shoulders down and relaxed. They will speak truth and teach you, sometimes uncomfortably, how to get more comfortable with yourself and how you feel, and if you are a parent who is willing to receive, you just might realise what a blessing this child is and why they came into your life at the time they did. In order to give them what they need, they require you to give it to yourself first. Read this twice. There is a life lesson in this message. Jo xx I would love to hear what your child taught you.
“Look we have to stop talking about school attendance as if it exists in a vacuum. Parents aren’t keeping children home because they’re soft, they’re doing it because our systems are stretched. Mental health waits are far too long,schools are under-resourced,teachers with no support and families are financially exhausted. This is what happens when you strip the bone bare. I witness these situations from parents every day helping them in my own private consultation practice and it has got worse every year for families, you can not band aid these isdues. When the system is thin, parents become the safety net.That’s the harsh reality. We should absolutely promote attendance and resilience but we can’t demand resilience from children without giving stability to families first. If a child is in genuine emotional distress, a parent stepping in isn’t indulgence it’s a failure of the system to meet that child sooner. The political conversation needs to shift from blame to support. If the Educational department want consistent attendance, then they need to provide national consistent grass roots family support: easier access to mental health services, teachers with manageable class sizes and funding for programs and extra staff, Also parents who are not working themselves into the ground just to keep the lights on. Fix that and attendance improves naturally” – Jo
I said what I said. Let’s do better for our beautiful children who all deserve so much love and permanent loving homes and families. 💜 Jo xx National Adoption Day November 22nd.
Play is absolutely a wonderful experience,one that is vital for our childs development,to explore, feed the creative and inquisitive mind, through play we learn, even adults are on board when one can share information in a way that will humor them too! There are many things our children teach us, and in play, it’s the freedom to be our authentic self, to be spontaneous, and to share the experiences together in such an innocent manner. I hope as an adult you will accept your children’s invitation without judgement to let your hair down,be silly and goofy feel the sense of freedom for the first time to be unapologetically you because after all your children saw it in you long before you ever did, they came into your life to encourage you to give yourself this opportunity and to heal and move forward. Jo xx 💕 Do you find it easy to play? How do you like to play parents?
Being an authority figure, a parental role model and loving carer does NOT mean you are a controlling person wanting power over your child, yet on social media we see examples everyday of people who abuse their authority or some who twist the narrative to say that authority = control but that’s not the case, when you are an authority in your child’s life it means you making decisions with conviction that serve your childrens needs best. Sometimes you make decisions that are family lead too for the good of the entire family! Trust down the road, that not now but later your children will understand compassionately as so so many of you today compromise your own values and decisions in fear your own children will some how dis own you.. This fear of rejection is projection and when we can work on ourselves as parents we can be stronger as parents to lead with confidence. Remember we don’t always get it right, no parent does but when we do not lead in fear we lead with love and our children will know that as they mature. Jo xx
Men are suffering from parental alienation and it harms children and their dads. When a child is pulled from their ‘SAFE’ father through bitterness, control, or unresolved conflict, they lose half their emotional foundation. Men deserve to stay connected, present and involved and children deserve the chance to love both parents without fear or pressure. Healthy parenting means putting the child FIRST, not weaponising the relationship. Unfortunately the narrative out here doesn’t support men who suffer at great lengths and the children who grow up angry and in counseling. If women remain forever the victim it brings in more money but the truth is this is not a gender war, it’s a social issue that needs to be addressed fairly because children deserved to be protected and raised by their other parent, their dads too. Jo x Are you in this situation or supporting a man going through this?
Are you even parenting, if you’ve never had to make a tough decision in the name of love for your children’s sake?. We’ve all done it… It doesn’t always feel good either… But that’s what being a parent is at times…it’s about making hard decisions we sometimes don’t want to do but are willing to do because we love so much. ❤️ Can you relate? Jo xx
Well do you? Don’t settle for a txt,demand that call when you need it!
You do stop feeling obligated over time when you truly understand that obligation is conceived in the fear of disappointing others,normally this comes from childhood,not in the genuine way we think of love or of generosity. I ask the families I coach to pause and ask themselves with raw emotional honesty what is really driving the yes. Is it guilt,fear,expectation or external pressure. The reveal gives them clarity,it’s an uncomfortable ask they feel vulnerable but the space in which we talk is safe and non-judgmental. Once you know you can choose differently. Decisions are never easy when you are up to your neck in emotions but you can do it,set a healthy boundary that protects your wellbeing,name what you can offer kindly without apology and allow yourself to sit with the slight discomfort you will definitely feel that comes with putting your families needs first. I can tell you over time that discomfort becomes inner true confidence and peace with obligation losing its power. The true spirit of holidays is presence & service,not presents. Always has been,find yourself back there again this year because we have bills to pay,homes to heat,children to feed,rents to pay,elderly to take care of and much much more. Jo xx 💜
Let this land in a very special way that makes you Stop & soften, where life has hardened you a little. Untangle in PAUSE if only for 5 mins to realize you can be warm for yourself first so that that warmth & glow ❤️ is what your children feel. Jo xx What is the first thing that comes to mind ?
Estrangement is not new, however I’m witnessing in families today a surge of actual estrangement from young adult children dressed up as ‘boundaries and self care’ with lots of therapy language and we need to talk about it honestly. From my experience working with families and that’s been over three decades, when parents SNOWPLOUGH every obstacle, carry every emotional weight and protect their child from every hard feeling even the embarrassing or shameful moments and i do think shame can be a quiet teacher if we learn to work through it; that child grows into an adult who has very little capacity for real life adversity. They struggle with conflict, accountability, disappointment and repair. An entitled immature self can not empathize and so when relationships become uncomfortable instead of working through it, they disappear, they go silent…it’s too much they are too ‘overwhelmed’ another word that masks the real emotion. They call out self-care but often it’s emotional avoidance. Don’t get me wrong estrangement where there is abuse is necessary for survival but in many families today no-contact is becoming a response to discomfort, needing to be right,not danger. It’s used as a form of punishment or control, a way to avoid working through shame, conflict, or taking responsibility for one’s part. This is what happens when a child grows up without building emotional resilience. They truly interpret HEALTHY boundaries as rejection, disagreement as disrespect and normal relational repair as “toxicity.” They haven’t built the muscles yet needed for adult connection. Families heal through honest conversation, action,accountability and emotional growth not silence, you see me mediate as such on my shows. That TRUTH you witness as the viewer that lasts at the table for 8 minutes on my shows is a real 2hr intense emotional experience. It requires high effort, not low and the talks continue without the time with a family. High effort all the way, integrity & courage. We must teach children how to feel, communicate, repair and stay present, even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s how we build stronger families and emotionally mature adults. Jo xx💙
Mothers day ! In the UK it’s tomorrow, in the US it’s in May and different dates with other countries around the world. It would be a moment to speak up and be really honest about what would really be nice for you and tag the person or persons who would need to see it and champion that request. Let’s see how many of you mothers will be brave enough to state and in the meantime I will pick a mother from the comments to give a private bespoke ground breaking coaching session to. ❤️ Jo xx
