I have always considered myself an accidental overachiever. I have goals but I usually miss that mark and in recovery find an option that’s better than the one I was aiming for.
The trick is when you fall, look around where you are to see things from that perspective. You might humble up on an opportunity that wasn’t visible while standing.
Or may all you get is a good story. I don’t know.
Dude here was thinking though. He made the best out of a bad situation … looked good doing it too.
Happy Friday!
Shoutout @used_03_civic
#fail
The attitude. That baby stared that #nurse down like it was high noon at the OK Corral.
Leaning into the hard stuff makes said hard stuff less so.
Be well … or get well. Whichever applies to you today.
Personally I’m not sure I can manage either one. Your girl is on The Struggle Bus today!
That said, I WILL go to my dance class this morning. Maybe I can shake it off, there.
I’m telling you so I will feel accountable.
Up from here is the game plan.
Shoutout @raykowusu
#baby #babies #babiesofinstagram
Son5 of 6 (who is 18 months in this video) took my old VCR tapes and converted them to digital. He sent me this for #valentines.
“She had my support from day one.”
He was a sexy somebody, wasn’t he?
#live #marriage #relationships #relationshipgoals #love
You can sell yourself into sadness. Every post, every conversation , every interaction offers you a few cents worth of feel.
The clerk may have sold you frustration. Some clown on the road may have offered you a dollars worth of rage in exchange for your best self. You paying?
And then there’s technology. The #algorithm sees how long you hovered on something and offer you more of the same. You take the emotional money for that tens seconds of a dopamine dump and you keep it moving … or so you think.
Those nickels and dimes of sensory input we sell our mood to add up. I inadvertently sold myself to some rather macabre nonsense when I was trying to remind myself it could be worse. (I try a lot of emotional management strategies… some are better than others!)
That misguided effort had huge drawbacks. It may or may not have put my issues in perspective but what it absolutely did is fill the back of my brain with darkness and despair for humanity as a whole.
I am going back to #elephants, #babies and #puppies for a while.
All I’m saying is that in the midst of the madness remember you have the power to steal some #joy.
Like my dude here. He could have been the bane of his entire clients’ existence or a man who makes them #smile.
The latter is a bit more work but the return on that labor is invaluable.
Shoutout @drimranpatelofficial #emotionalintelligence
Emotional intelligence is the security door to you place of peace. You can stand at the window and watch folks whoop and holler but you don’t have to let them in.
You know how I like to do all the stuff I really don’t want to do first thing in the morning. Often people return my emails with phrases like what were you doing up at 4:00 a.m.?
Anyhow, yesterday the minute the coroner’s office opened, I talked to Irma about autopsy photos.
#Widowhood is a tough hood. You get your equilibrium for a moment and then get hit by a whole new verse of He’s Not Here sung in so many different keys of sorrow it’s a cacophony and not a chorus.
I hesitated to mention the coroner thing (who wants to hear about that) but I’m just out here, you know? Grabbing at things so I won’t drown.
Anyway I spent the rest of the day irritated by every single little thing I came across. Something stupid happened at the bank. #Widow-related, mind you, but I held it together.
Then there was the post office issue. I was vibrating by then but I got through it without acting up.
But by 2:00 p.m. I was fresh out of all #emotional reserves. So I stayed home.
What I did not do, however, was turn my phone off. Not only that, I saw his name on the caller ID. I should have just let it go to voicemail. But oh no!
The fact that he had it coming is irrelevant. I should have been above it anyway. I hate it when I let others set my #mood.
I can’t even tell you about the second meltdown. I was home. In bed. (5:00 p.m. – don’t judge, discretion is the better part of valor) I called myself securing the world by absenting myself from it. I had all my fences up. But they found me after I had clocked out. I was totally emotionally unprepared for human interaction so I showed up all wrong.
It’s a new day though.
Relevant #Tolerism
The Up Rule:
When you mess up.
Fess up.
Back up,
Then clean up.
Got my mop and I’m ready to go.
#emotionalintellingence #widow working her way out of the weeds.
I’m just going to pull it together. I mean really. If you could see the state of disassembly I have reached you’d be appalled. I know I am.
I need to get my situation in order before I end up bald and a million dollars in debt to Amazon.
That is some addictive stuff.
Today, I’m on restriction. No on line purchases. No scissors.
Relevant #Tolerisms:
If you regularly surrender yourself to your emotions eventually you may have to surrender yourself to the state.
#Feelings are fleeting.
Felonies are forever.
#emotionalintelligence
#Strugglebus. Was doing something completely ridiculous when my eye met a flying object that I had failed to secure. Can’t get my #hair together. I hate #shoes. HOWEVER, I love my #dog and my son feels better this morning despite my continuing efforts to feed him. I claim victory … logical or no.
There is no designated decibel level at which errant ideas dislodge.
So, quit yelling.
My commentary has nothing to do with the video. It’s just that i had a day yesterday in which that concept was wholly ignored by all involved, and it was so very silly. I hate silly.
@divorcecourt uploads old seasons on YouTube in bulk now, so if you’re feeling nostalgic…
#relationships #relationshipgoals
Is often unplanned and unpretty (I know that’s not a word).
Every day funny is the best funny that there is.
Shoutout @mandyhunterhealing
Remarkable,no?
You could ask why but then again why not?
And while ‘for the fun of it’ is a notion I have new found appreciation for, there are other benefits.
What she did has benefits to both body and brain as well. She had to hone her body, work her flexibility, practice her precision, build up her strength. All things she can use in other avenues.
People often ask me why I do the things I do:
Build dollhouses
Paint on canvas
Study French and Russian.
Draw house plans
I’m not going to need any of those things. But they all add to me. Just on a dementia tip alone. A challenged brain must wire up in new places to handle new skills. The more active highways you got up there the harder dementia has to work to commandeer them all.
At least current research gives us hope in that direction.
Ain’t that just like an anxious person? Always warding off danger.
In real time, though, those things are fun. They help me gather patience (something I am oh so much in need of) and I get to see what I’ve done and I am proud. Even if it didn’t turn out quite right.
#joytrolling #joy #simple
Fight to enjoy your day. I implore you. If I end up going the grocery store today I’m gonna dance in the tuna aisle.
Let’s all hope it’s empty if I do!😎
To those of you for whom this makes sense: I’m underwater but okay. Thanks for your love and support. Will resurface soon.
Shoutout @stefaniemillinger
This is from @mydearfuturewifeypodcast with @laterrasrwhitfield
Check it out on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. Link is also in my bio.
Things I would like you to note:
1) My house is clean!!!!!!!
2) My outfit matches though I think I should have put on socks or something.
3) My hair ain’t quite right. Never is. That’s all I see when I look at it which is a common but no less ridiculous human foible. I don’t like the results but I keep doing the same thing. In the one particular area too. It’s both fascinating and frustrating all at the same time.
4) How often I laughed. My FeelBetter is showing. Sometimes it’s not that obvious and I wonder how well I’m really doing. This reassures me.
#relationships #relationshipgoals #marriage #wifey #widow #emotionalintelligence #emotional
You and I both know pop put a million pounds of pressure on that jar. There was no way in the world he wasn’t gonna open that.
Did you see his face before, during and after? Helplessness to Anticipation to Relief. I bet he was on cloud nine all night about that.
I had that. Twice. #fathers and #husbands Two very different men who did the best they could at every possible turn for the people they loved.
#family
Sometimes the Best Happy is from the Simplest Stuff.
Sometimes the saddest are simple too. I let go of his clothes yesterday.
#daddyduties
Shoutout @masteringlifewithcatalinacoach
Sometimes you just end up going for the full ride, you know?
It’s easy to see how others get caught up because you have perspective. But when you’re in the eye of a storm everything around you is whirling and it’s tough to know what’s up.
All I’m saying is this, the capacity to comment with ease should not be confused with the ability to evaluate with accuracy.
Relevant #Tolerism:
Be slow to judge people stuck on the side of a mountain you haven’t been required to climb.
Shoutout @viralworkmemes
In episode 804, @realjudgelynn opens her heart and shares all the details of her love journey with her passed away husband. This story invites us to reflect on love, commitment, making wise decisions and the influence of our family in our love relationships. Have you watched it yet? What was your favorite part?
#DearFutureWifey #Relationships #Marriage #judgelynntoler
In episode 804, @realjudgelynn opens her heart and shares all the details of her love journey with her passed away husband. This story invites us to reflect on love, commitment, making wise decisions and the influence of our family in our love relationships. Have you watched it yet? What was your favorite part?
#DearFutureWifey #Relationships #Marriage #judgelynntoler
In episode 804, @realjudgelynn opens her heart and shares all the details of her love journey with her passed away husband. This story invites us to reflect on love, commitment, making wise decisions and the influence of our family in our love relationships. Have you watched it yet? What was your favorite part?
#DearFutureWifey #Relationships #Marriage #judgelynntoler
In episode 804, @realjudgelynn opens her heart and shares all the details of her love journey with her passed away husband. This story invites us to reflect on love, commitment, making wise decisions and the influence of our family in our love relationships. Have you watched it yet? What was your favorite part?
#DearFutureWifey #Relationships #Marriage #judgelynntoler
It was a slow build to an inevitable fall. She had all her stuff and a grip on the tree but she had to let go because she had places to go.
Hollering as she slowly made her way to the street, she stayed calm enough to survive the initial slide. That’s important. Cool will help you stay up right.
But then again cool cannot cure life, nor as in this case, could it handle the curb.
Sometimes things are just like that. You know you’re pulling up on trouble, you secure yourself the best you can but eventually you have to let go and get on with it.
I realized yesterday I was hanging on to the flora. You know? Spent a year just trying to stop the world from shaking. The earthquake of his sudden departure and all its aftershocks, made everything unstable.
So it was all about standing my ground and not falling down.
And I did. I found level …
But now I’m afraid to let go of the tree. It keeps you from falling but it doesn’t allow you to get anywhere, including better places.
A life lived solely in search of safety doesn’t guarantee you will be, it does, however, guarantee you won’t get anywhere. And I don’t want to live my life in a bath of tepid water.
So now I’m looking to eschew the safety of multiple bed bound hours and slide into whatever is next.
I got some good counsel yesterday. She understood where I was standing and he kept talking about Next. I didn’t see it till this morning but I’m looking it straight in the eyes now.
Next. I didn’t realize I had completely relinquished that notion.
Next, I still get to do that. It IS available and it is not frivolous.
So now Next is job 1.
I’m gonna do a lot of new. And if I fall y’all better laugh, like her buddy in the video. If I must suffer the indignity of embarrassment I want to at least get something out of it, like amusing you. I mean, we’re like #family, right? 😂
Releasing the flora as I speak … and you can best believe I’m hollering.
#fail #fall #ice #next #friends
Shoutout @allfails @casual.elsie @bitch
1: If you looked at dude and was asked what do you think his sporting fast ball was you wouldn’t necessarily say this. Football, wrestler., maybe. But no. Dude did this! Nine whipbacks in a row. Impressive!
The Lesson? Don’t just run with the first facts you have. Wait and watch. Look for detail. Question your assumptions.
2: #keepcoming. That was my mother’s favorite phrase. Dude tumbled out of his shorts and kept it moving.
The Lesson: there WILL be difficulties. Maintain your composure.
3: Practice. And I mean not just normal things. Practice being whatever you’d like to be a little more of. For example, every once in a while when I really have my wits about me I stand in the longest or slowest grocery checkout even if self checkout (which I love) is open. Test my nerve and my resolve. And if I do a good job and don’t get anxious I grab some #M&M s as a reward.
The Lesson: though process and procedure aren’t sexy, they work. I don’t #manifest. I do not have #epiphanies. I walk. I plod. I accept better than yesterday. I still do battle. But I don’t storm cities with overwhelming force. I guérilla fight my #feelings from house to house.
One way of doing business is not better than the other, I just found what works for me.
4: Find what you enjoy and roll with it.
#emotionalintelligence #joy
@domitrick
He kept it moving, no? I don’t think I could have. I’d be laughing to hard.
Man, I can’t tell you how out of the woods I am this morning. I was so deep in the weeds these past few days I scared myself.
Then Son5 of 6 showed me this gang documentary from the area my mother grew up in. Now I’ve bought three books on the subject and I’ve been reading.
Reading! I haven’t been able to read more than an article for a year. So glad to have that back.
I feel like I’ve won some kind of prize.
Happy Sunday! As Duchess always said #keepcoming
Shoutout @churchoflaugh
I am the queen of panic. Don’t let some one small thing go wrong, I will jump scream, bolt and carry on. Back in the day people could watch me as I flailed about. Now I do most of that in my head.
Regular folk tend not to understand the workings of the chronically concerned mind.
I was telling someone at the airport about my fear of flying, once. He then regaled me with statistics about car vs. aircraft fatalities.
I said “all of that is well and good but I am afraid of driving too. I may not be brave but I’m consistent.”
It used to annoy me when people would address my fears with logic. One thing has nothing to do with the other.
They were never giving information I didn’t already have. It’s not that I don’t understand the facts it’s the manner in which old girl Amy (short for amygdala) interprets said facts.
My Amy is a skittish chick who is oblivious to both nuance and probability.
You give her an inch of uncomfortable and she will knit you a California king-sized blanket of concern.
… and you’re still shivering.
That said I want credit for being better than I was.
Shoutout @drunkpeopledoingthings
I found this simply too beautiful not to have access to it in a regular basis. So I am posting it.
Your #life becomes what you concentrate on.
Starting today, I am dedicating an hour a day to beauty … happy … fun. This will help remind me.
It is in my nature to worry. #Worry is often nothing more than a car full of common concerns that has lost its brakes.
Even though I have some current concerns that are far more than common, the solution remains the same.
Scheduled pockets of joy are like speed bumps on the road to endless angst.
At least that’s what I’m looking to find out. I’ll let you know how it goes.
#dance #beauty #anxietysociety #anxiety #focus #mood #emotionalintelligence
Shoutout @majiaolong66
I was always a very jumpy chick. If I had a dime for every time I jumped and screamed when Eric walked in a room I’d own The Maldives.
He’d get so annoyed. “I live here.” He’d say.
My response? I know but I did not expect to see you in this spot at this moment, hence the startle response.
After 30 some years you’d think I’d get used to it. But nooooo …
Here’s the thing, You can either get annoyed or amused by it, even as you choose not to accede to it. I fight my #fears. I do things to make myself calmer. Everyday. And I’m better than I was …
But at my core, I’m all rabbit with reclusive tendencies.
I like who I am but I am never satisfied with her. She can do better and when she does she’ll make my life better.
That’s the key. #Motivation: the art of being dissatisfied without being demoralized.
You can’t just repeat the same sentence over and over again for 150 pages and write a good book. Something’s gotta happen. Things must change.
Don’t be a pamphlet. Be a multi-volume series.
In the interim, have a good day.
Shoutout @justlaughfolder
